Body

Interesting blog, considering my project. Although some of these moms are way too fit for me to feel like this helps me much:


http://theshapeofamother.com/

Skin

My focus right now is on make-up, but any cosmetologist will tell you that you have to start with a good canvas. I've struggled with acne since I was 13 and let me tell you, it has been a battle. I've tried everything from Proactiv to prescription products and everything has worked for one year, then stopped. The best my skin has ever looked was at my wedding. That year I spent about $1000 on chemical peels because my skin was pretty weathered, but I was also following a strict regimen that involved three different chemicals and 10 minutes of icing my face every night. And I still needed two cortisone injections the week before my wedding to avoid a flare-up.

This means I am extremely sensitive about my skin. I have a few family members who received my grandmother's beautiful skin who still manage to suggest that I have an acne problem because I don't know how to take care of my skin. Have I ever considered seeing a beautician? Have I tried X line of products? You know, they just are a little careful about the make-up they choose ... have I heard of hypoallergenic foundation?

Lord help me. I've lost count of how many dermatologists and cosmetologists I've seen. They all get excited when they see my skin and they know, they just know that they can fix my skin. After a few months they're still spinning their wheels. "Well, let's try this semi-controversial product ... it may give you cancer, but it should clear up your skin."

I'm being facetious, but only sort of. It's amazing to see my skin become the bane of someone else's existence.

Now I have another issue with my skin care: I'm breastfeeding. While I was pregnant I had to stop most of my typical regimen. My doctor prescribed an ointment that was safe to use while pregnant and it did pretty well. But now that I'm nursing my son, the options are wider ... sort of. It is really difficult to test products for safety and efficacy in pregnant women. In nursing women? I don't know if it's difficult or if no one thinks to do it. I'd like some really conclusive evidence about glycolic acid and breastfeeding, but apparently it's too new to be included in the books of my La Lache League leader or the lactation consultant who runs one of the playgroups I attend. They think it should be fine, however, so I'm using it.

Already my skin is looking better. Of course I still get flare-ups. And I'm not sure whether some of them aren't caused by my foundation. But I'm back to a three-part ointment system and supposedly because they're only topical and don't enter my bloodstream, they're safe for my son.

Here's hoping.

Lessons from this week

1. Don't apply liquid eyeliner when your glasses are still on.

2. Prioritize. Today I put off taking a shower until after my little guy's (LG) morning nap. Big mistake, since he was doing something so adorable my husband ran to get the camera and I was still wearing my nursing pajamas.

Also, LG was not interested in his bouncy seat today. He was fine in it while I showered, but not long enough for me to get dressed, fix my hair or put on make-up. This was a problem because I had started on my make-up, but I still wasn't dressed. And I'm only talking about being out of the shower for about a minute -- if I have to forgo anything because my baby needs to be held, it's going to be hair and make-up, not clothes.

Make-up

First order of business? Get rid of old make-up! I'm a bit of a pack rat so this means getting rid of anything I don't remember buying in the past year (conjunctivitis anyone?). And anything I hate -- like the mascara that makes my eyes water and the eyeliner that's so soft that the pigment breaks off every time I use it.

So today I bought two new lipsticks and so far I'm pleased with the color and wear of both of them. The trouble? Kissing. My husband doesn't like to mess up my make-up by kissing me on the lips and I don't want to get lipstick all over my son. But I'm a demonstrative person and I can't go without kissing. I might have to try one of those new lip stains I've seen advertised.

But I still need to buy new mascara and eyeliner and research brushes. My mentor here is Paula Begoun because she is a font of information and I also am too intimidated to go to a beautician for lessons. Besides, anyone else feel like they sometimes just lie to you to sell products? At least with Paula I have the distance of it being over the internet or in a book. Especially since I can't see anything without my glasses so when someone else is being made up I can't follow the instructions.

Game Plan

So here are the elements of being pretty that I've identified that I'll work on throughout this year:

1. Make-up
This is first and I have a lot of work to do here in learning how to apply make-up and replacing old products!

2. Hair
I don't think I've ever gotten a compliment on my hair. Or maybe I did at my wedding? Hmm. Anyway, I would like to have hair that looks good in a photograph or at least elicits a compliment! Update: to be fair, my husband always compliments me on my hair. I remember reading somewhere that women dress for other women, that most men are not nearly as concerned about a woman's looks. I have to admit that here I'm aiming for a spontaneous, sincere compliment from a woman.

3. Clothes
I'll probably leave this one for last. It's hard enough to get dressed with a new baby in the house, much less when you're nursing and therefore trying to balance flattering clothes with ones that are easy to nurse in!

4. Body
This probably won't be what you think. I have plenty of overweight friends who range from pretty to downright beautiful. So I won't be joining Jenny Craig. But I will have to figure out how to like my body and how it looks in photographs.

5. Self-portrayal
I just read an article on how to pose for photographs. Maybe something small like standing at an angle can improve how I look in photographs.

6. Skin
We'll see how much I can do here. My skin is pretty weathered and seriously acne-prone. I've done Murad, Proactive, and a variety of other methods. Everything works ... for about a year.

7. Teeth
Anyone else noticed how dentists are so much more cosmetics-oriented? If I get another sales pitch on Invisiline I'll scream.

I'll add any other issues I discover on this journey as they present themselves.

Project Rules

If I were to find this blog while web-surfing, I would think, "That is so shallow." But here I am, doing it anyway. Why? Because I'm sick of hating how I look in photos. And because I have a New Baby, the First Grandson on Your Husband's Side, I'm in a helluva lotta photos.

I stopped caring how I looked about 20 years ago, when my mother died and my acne flared up. I just accepted that I wasn't one of the "pretty people" and went on with my life. Since then, I've realized two things:

1. Anyone can look better with a little effort.

2. Saying I didn't care, but complaining about myself in photographs is not only hypocritical, but a cop-out.

That being said, I've chosen an arbitrary timeframe (a year) in which to figure out how to become pretty. But here are the things I want to keep in mind:

1. I'm a mom and, while it's important to take time for myself, I don't want to sacrifice quality time with my baby for the sake of beauty.

2. I don't want my own self-criticism to make me more critical of other people's appearances.

So here are the rules. Everything I do or change about my routine has to be:

1. Fast.

2. Easy (is this really 1a?).

3. Cheap.

Those rules are the New Mom's Mantra, but I think they point to something I think it is important to clarify: I believe that anyone can be pretty with a ton of time and money. Why is it that contestants on What Not to Wear get $5,000 to spend on clothes? How many women would volunteer for a post-partum tummy tuck (which, I've heard, also costs about $5k)? I know that my face would look incredible after a series of, say, 5 chemical peels, which would cost around $700 - 1,000.

So here I go. I'm going to loosely assign myself this task from now until my 36th birthday (October 31, 2010) and see how things go.